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How to Make Your Brain Spin in 5 Easy Steps

August 12, 2009

August has (literally) started off with a bang.  Not a good kind of bang, either, more like the kind of bang that makes you want to bang your head against the wall several thousand times.  I wake up each morning fresh and ready for the world, and as the day wears on I start tearing my hair out and wondering what the heck is happening to my life.  And then I remember my five simple ways to make life as complicated as possible:

1.  Hit a parked car.

2.  Hit a parked car so well that you total your own car but cause very little damage to the other car.

3.  Add “find a new, CHEAP car” to the list of projects started as of August 1.

4.  Commence moving in to the world’s smallest duplex.  With your boyfriend.

5.  Decide that now is the time to cut back on using wine for medicinal purposes.

Huh.  I’m really not sure how I’m going to make it to the end of August, but there better be some sort of prize when I finally get there.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2009 12:16 am

    Do you remember how you used to say “bad things come in three’s” a lot of people say that, but you used to say it as if it were a matter of fact anyhow reading your five steps reminded me of my first car accident years ago and how I got laid off a few weeks after my accident. That month way back when was awful for me I got laid off from that cool job working at that laboratory in the valley spinning blood and wearing a lab coat and that same day I got pulled over and got a ticket for rolling a stop or something and nearly broke down in front of the officer. Point I wanted to make was that you have gotten into three-car accidents right. Well, maybe that is your lucky number and you will not get into anymore car accidents. In addition, I want to apologize I made fun of you a while back at the Chalet about your driving abilities and all the accidents you had gotten into. My first and only car accident thus far was with a brand spanking new parked car which I totaled yet didn’t really do any damage my car and it was my fault completely due to all the testosterone in me at the time. Bright side is you will not be driving around in an Egg Plant mobile no more and you got your own place September is also right around the corner.

  2. Altadena Ned permalink
    August 16, 2009 12:34 pm

    How do you know it is the smallest duplex in the world?

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