How to Make Your Brain Spin in 5 Easy Steps
August has (literally) started off with a bang. Not a good kind of bang, either, more like the kind of bang that makes you want to bang your head against the wall several thousand times. I wake up each morning fresh and ready for the world, and as the day wears on I start tearing my hair out and wondering what the heck is happening to my life. And then I remember my five simple ways to make life as complicated as possible:
1. Hit a parked car.
2. Hit a parked car so well that you total your own car but cause very little damage to the other car.
3. Add “find a new, CHEAP car” to the list of projects started as of August 1.
4. Commence moving in to the world’s smallest duplex. With your boyfriend.
5. Decide that now is the time to cut back on using wine for medicinal purposes.
Huh. I’m really not sure how I’m going to make it to the end of August, but there better be some sort of prize when I finally get there.