So. The Quarter-Life Crisis. Myth or fact?
Some say this is a spoiled kid’s way of getting out of working in the ‘real’ world for a little bit longer. People fresh out of college don’t want to get their hands dirty; they’re used to the easy college life of waking up at noon, going out every night, and having a disposable income. All of a sudden they’re required to get a real job, wake up before 9, and perhaps be responsible for themselves. Awww, it’s so tough being an adult, isn’t it?
On the flip side, considering that the rates of depression amongst college age students have doubled in the last ten years, maybe this “quarter-life crisis” is more than a frivolous issue. Involving feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, self-doubt, fear and pessimism, this new phenomenon can even set up conditions of anxiety and depression. Young adults, from ages 20-35, reach the point, usually after finishing college, where they are all of a sudden presented with an amazing number of career and lifestyle decisions that they must make. Through years of schooling, we are taught how to get through the education system, to get our degree, and then everything will fall in to place. We’ll have a great career, people will like us, we’ll have all the knowledge to live life in today’s world. But many people are finding that life isn’t exactly what they expected. 
Welcome to the modern world. There are more possiblities and complexities then ever. Choices to be made at every turn, and it seems the deadlines for these decisions are coming up faster and faster. One decision conflicts with another, spinning our heads around until we no longer know which way to go and we’re all starting to think, “well, do I really care anymore?!”
I think a lot of us are putting off the inevitable. Staying in college longer (hi everyone who is still at Pasadena Community College four years later!), working in a bar while “figuring things out,” living at home as long as possible. Let’s take me for example (since this is my blog after-all). I went to college in a different country, which was real-world enough for me, thank you very much. It was a three year program to get my bachelor’s degree, which, wow, went by way faster than I thought it would. All of a sudden I was back home with a shiny B.A. in Media and Communication that wasn’t doing the work for me … that’s what it’s there for, right? To get me an amazing job doing what I love? No? Huh? Please help?
So I got a job as a real estate assistant, which is something I swore I would never do, mostly because my mom works in real estate so why on Earth would I go off down the same path as my very own MOTHER! Well, pretty much because my mom works in the real estate business so I’ve kinda go the hookups. Oh and it’s a well-paying job and keeps me busy. Yay for being busy, that’s Number One in avoiding the complete quarter-life meltdown.
But then… what happened to all my friends? I’m sure I left some around here somewhere when I went away to college. Oh right, they all went off to do their college thing in different places too! Now they’re all muddling their own way through this ‘adult’ life, dealing with their quarter-life crisis, and somehow it has become tricky to maintain the same friendships that may have been amazing in high school. Number Two in fighting the complete quarter-life meltdown — find some new friends. Hmmmm, well that’s not as easy as it sounds, but luckily Number One provides us with a new environment and brand new people to get to know (note – this is a little harder when you work in an office where the average fellow employee is a female born prior to 1945. However, this can provide endless hours of gossip, so it’s a toss up).
Number Three in steering clear of the quarter-life meltdown: keep sight of those dreams and goals that seemed so reachable going into college but kept moving further and further away as time went on. Because, let’s face it, we’re only 20-35 and they’re saying 40 is the new 20, so we’ve got a ways to go, right? Plenty of time to mess it up and start all over until we’ve got our heads screwed on straight and life becomes what we once expected. When I was reading about this impending crisis we have coming, the main strategy mentioned in every article to avoiding the panic, anxiety, and feelings of being massively overhwelmed was to keep it real while working towards what we really, really want in life. I know when I was in high school I wanted to be a rock star “when I grew up” (hey, don’t laugh, I know you did too…), but obviously that is not really what I’m going to succeed at, seeing as how I sing like a squeaky toy and haven’t picked up a guitar in a few years. Oh, and I have trouble even saying my name in front of an audience. So I moved on to the next job in my Top 5 Coolest Careers and am working on that, which seems a little more achievable than achieving rock star status in the next 6 months.
While I still have my deer-in-the-headlights moments trying to figure out my life and where I am headed, I try to keep in mind that it will all turn out the way it’s supposed to, eventually. There’s no need to get things sorted out RIGHT NOW, and I might as well enjoy the process.
Anyone else having quarter-life crisis moments? Got any tricks to avoiding the meltdown?
For you quarter-lifers who are thinking this crisis is fact and want more info, here are some good places to look:
One-stop Info Shop for Recent Grads and Beyond
Stuck in a Quarter-Life Crisis? from News 24.
Navigating the Quarter-Life Crisis, by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D.
[P.S. I am participating in ProBlogger's Killer Titles Project, check it out here]
3 Comments
August 27, 2008 at 8:55 pm
This post spoke to me a lot. You’re a great writer going through so many of the same things I’m going through. Thanks for putting it all out there!
August 28, 2008 at 1:28 am
i just freak out because, holy shit i’m an adult, and i swear i still feel 21. i’m going to be old and gray in no time! AhsdfhadhfahfAHahhhhhhhh!!!
August 29, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Weh believe me, take it easy, try and test every kind of job you would like to have, doesn’t matter if you work there a day, a week or a month, play around your hobbies, find something you like doing and something to motivate you, stop reading crap from others, that’s how they did it and that doesn’t mean you will or you should do the same as others did, ya noe that saying “some have ‘good’ advices for others because for them they never worked” so trying to do or atleast follow their advices its pretty much hilariously stupid. Try to test as many jobs you can before you decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your life, between those tests of life you can try and enjoy as much as you can your 20’s because after these 20’s go (which you won’t even realise how fast) you will have to take the next steps to go to the next level, like marriage, kids maybe and so on, so from that time life won’t be as easy as it was untill 20’s, but what matters the most now… in this infinite present is to enjoy life at max and do the most craziest stuff you can to enjoy it till you get into you’re 30’s.
I hope you’ll enjoy your 20’s and i hope you’ll think twice about what you’re gonna do after 30’s cuz that will change your life around and off the choices you’ve taken. Be happy while it lasts
BTW: The most important thing that shouldn’t happen on your 20’s is to allow yourself to get hurt, remember there are plenty of frogs you’ll have to kiss before that prices in shining armour will come.